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Living alone has many advantages. I’ve been living on my own for several months now and I’m loving it. Undoubtedly many of you can name the pros of living on your own.

Freedom. No need to adjust to anyone’s schedule. You can literally do whatever you want whenever you want. Want to have popcorn in the middle of the night? Play that funny video early in the morning? Go for it.

You’re not affecting anyone but you by your decisions.

Walking around naked surely entered your mind. I always found it ridiculous. What’s so good about that? But honestly, it’s hard to understand until you lived it. I get it now.

Your mess is your mess. You do your chores in your own schedule. No one is urging you to clean up after yourself what’s both positive and negative feature.

Independence. No need to depend on someone else to pay their share of the rent and urging them to do so in time.

The peace and quiet. You come to appreciate true quiet moments after a long day talking to people at work. I can’t wait till I come home and I won’t be talking anymore.

Your own home. Calling a place your own. Having your name on the door. Decorating your home by your liking. Getting super excited by simple things like buying a new plate or rug.

Simply growing up.

But what’s the worst thing about living alone?

Recently I came to know what’s the worst about living alone when my worst nightmares come true. Being alone is great until something bad happens to you.

It was an ordinary night, I was washing dishes like any other night and preparing my lunch for the next day at work.

I was suddenly overwhelmed by the strong headache and dizziness. I was gonna faint and no one would know and how could they when I was all alone.

I pulled the purest strength of my will to stay focused, keep breathing. My first instinct was to call my mum. Ask for help. But how can someone living in another state help you?

I tried to breathe it out and talking to my mum but once I realized this is not ordinary vertigo I hung up and called myself an ambulance. My head was spinning, my hands were shaking and I was sure I was gonna throw up.

The realization that no one is gonna help me but me was incredibly scary.

I described my situation to the emergency, gave them my address and my personal info. The caller urged me in consideration to my nature of the problem and the fact I am living alone. to keep all of my doors open just in case something happens to me in the meantime. Even in edge situation like this, I had to think ahead. The simple things like pulling on your socks and a pair of jeans seem impossible when your head is spinning like crazy. I knew I had to find my ID and insurance card, I would need the money and phone so I had to charge it for at least a bit. All of those little things that would be perfect if someone else could do them for you and you could focus on not fainting.

The ambulance arrived in crushing 30 minutes and only then I allowed myself to relax a bit. My head was worse than before, but at least someone was there with me.

I spend the night in the hospital going through several screenings and treatments I’m not gonna bore you with. It was a terrible and terrifying night for me. But once I was released from the hospital, I got to come home all alone to be alone. Nurses asked me several times if someone would pick me up, and I had to bitterly admit that no.

I’m on my own.

I was planning on calling myself a cab but to top it off my phone battery died off so I got to take the trolley. My vertigo didn’t go away after several hours spent on IV. I was able to get myself to a pharmacy I work in thought, and my great colleagues helped me out a lot. I picked up my prescription pills and my boss gave me a ride home.

I learned the hard way to always have a safety plan. To keep my phone charged at all times. Sadly to always be prepared for the worst possible situation.

Now I know I am capable of taking care on my own but I wish I never get to go through that again.

Luckily I have a people in my life who regularly check on me if I’m ok, even when they are not near me.

Being sick is the worst thing about living alone.

 

 

 

 

 

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15 Comments

  1. June 1, 2019 / 1:42 pm

    I have never had vertigo before. That does sound frightening. I am glad you made it through. I pray this does not happen again to you or if it should that you won’t feel so alone.

    You have been doing very well alone though you know. The things you learned about yourself and the joys you found in that freedom should not be dampened by one bad experience that you had dreaded for some time now. I had a dream last night that I hope never comes true. I have been having garbage disposal issues for a year now. Cause I don’t have a truck to assist me in carting off these loads of trash. Sigh, who would have thought humans can collect to so much waste in the matter of days. Well I live in the woods. Deep in the woods and I dread the appearance of a bear coming around looking to aid me in cleaning my trash. They do that some times. I have no idea how I would stop one if it came and it would only be around cause I can’t move all this garbage. Anyway I can make myself sick over the situation or I can just take out the trash and be done with it. Which that is a daily chore, load the care with about 24 bags and do the same the next day. I still fear the idea of a bear and have a rifle loaded just in case. I am virtually alone. No cell phone coverage up here and I care for an 84 year old woman who would be no help in a bear attack. So I can understand you fear of being alone.
    Yet because I am alone, I have the freedom to write, create and develop content that you might not find anywhere else. The silence and solitude would be hard for me to give up. Even in the midst of a bear attack.

  2. June 1, 2019 / 7:42 pm

    I think the worse part is being lonely

    • November 10, 2019 / 11:03 pm

      Actually, Alex,
      I totally felt like you for decades until I realised that the company of others is merely a distraction for filling a void within me which no one could fill, because it was a concern me not being connected to my very own path.
      Once I faced the literal “disappointment” that I made “appointments” with people for the wrong reason, I withdrew – first in a sulky mood, but the more I did connect with my middle (“medius” in latin) by MEDItation, I slowly moved to an understanding for myself which grew up to a point of self-love, something no exterior person is able to give to me.
      And finally I even understood why on a long hike the lonesome Shepards I met were not even keen on talking much anymore.

      When young people dread old age as merely becoming ugly, this is the bliss which sets in, because the dependent need for a cutie is replaced by the happiness self-acceptance as long as one doesn’t get bitter.

  3. June 2, 2019 / 1:27 pm

    Very good blog, and great advice. I have been completely alone at times in my past, times when no-one would have known whether I was dead or alive. I wouldn’t want it to be that way again, but it was a very valuable experience.

  4. June 8, 2019 / 5:06 am

    Yes. Not having anyone to call out to in an emergency is definitely no fun. There are always advantages and disadvantages to living with people versus living alone.

  5. June 8, 2019 / 5:56 am

    I’m glad you’re okay and learning from it. I had a similar experience while I was pregnant with Mateo and I understand just how terrifying that can be. Especially when you know that no one is just going to come checking in on you.

  6. June 10, 2019 / 11:21 am

    I have not expected you as a blogger, when do or did you started with blogging? But I was very suprissed when I saw him on mine email I go look of you that wreely was. I look always to you, you was great. So you are now a blogger so do I. I look sports and give mine command at home the find me ignoring. But not get the top. You have hard work and still do.

  7. June 28, 2019 / 12:11 pm

    Living alone is always risky especially one gets ill as in your case, you do not have sufficient exposure to deal with such situations. But it is good you picked up courage grit in your both hands and could ward off the ugly situation very well. congrats.
    Always live close to someone who can be handy enough to deal with the ugly happenings. GOD IS GREAT.

  8. June 30, 2019 / 11:58 am

    The worst thing about living alone, for me at least, was dealing with those terrible slimy creatures called lizards! I am petrified of them and in spite of all my efforts, they somehow always managed to enter my house…and shot into visibility when I least expected them. Shudders!

    • natalieihnatova
      Author
      July 26, 2019 / 5:37 pm

      Thank god that never happened to me

  9. Robert Newport
    July 4, 2019 / 5:03 am

    It helps to get to know your neighbors. Once you do, you may live alone, but you will not be alone. Dr. Bob

    • natalieihnatova
      Author
      July 26, 2019 / 5:37 pm

      That’s great advice, thank you

  10. October 23, 2019 / 3:25 pm

    As Robert says it’s always better to know your neighbours !! Hope you are ok .. Vertigo is a bad thing and it comes unexpectedly!

  11. December 4, 2019 / 10:17 am

    It is a situation I am aware of since I myself live alone, have been that way for over eight years now. Yes the worst thing is I might fall so sick and die that no one would ever know until the stink from my corpse raise an alarm… Freedom comes at a price and not everybody is prepared for it. Loved reading your post Natalia

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