War’s Unwomanly Face – Svetlana Alexievich


This might be one of the hardest books I’ve ever read. True short stories from WWII told by over200 women? Sign me up.

Svetlana Alexievich won a Nobel Prize for literature, because she introduced us a whole new point of view on events, we probably heard many, many times before. This Ukrainian woman travelled the Soviet Union for years, recording stories of (not just, but mostly) female soldiers, who participated in WWII.

In the Soviet Union almost one million women enlisted in the army and fought alongside the men as medics, snipers, pilots, tank drivers, laundrywomen, postal workers, baker, mechanics and even captains between 1941 and 1945. The majority of these women were aged between 16 and 21.

“Who would want to know about those little things that only woman would notice? Tell them about victories and fights, not flowers or birds.” – censor editing the book in 80s.

Oh, sir, I NEED to hear those stories.
We read about nurses, who went straight into battlefield and dragged away dozens of wounded soldiers, tank drivers pulling out flaming bodies twice their weight out of tanks, partisans suffering for days on torturing devices, civilian mothers killing their own children in order to spare them from much worse and horrifying death.
We learn a lot about how the misery didn’t just end up with victory. The country was still filled with hidden bombs and landmines. “The worst death was after the victory. It’s like double death.” Also Stalin’s government turned entire war into story about heroes and villains and everyone who said something different was sent to prison for decades. These women were afraid to talk about truth for many years, fearing someone would report them to the police. Not just that, but government didn’t want women to be seen as heroes. Because women were “weak” and emotional, they had female bodies and needs. That’s not who heroes are.

The death in this book is so raw and uncensored, sometimes told with heart-breaking emotion and sometimes just as a dry memory. Murdered children, friends, lovers, parents. Severed body parts, the weight of clothes soaked by blood, smell of rotting human flesh. The hatred and the compassion for the enemy. Girls picking the flowers and putting them on graves. Stories of love. One girl fell in love and first time kissed her loved one, when he was lying dead on the ground. Mothers telling the story of leaving their children and sharing the pain of losing their families. “I couldn’t bury my own son, so I buried someone else’s.” Stories of daughters and mothers returning home to their families. Those were honestly breaking me in pieces internally.

But also we find cute stories about cats, suitcases filled with candies, wedding dress made of cotton bandage, 15 years old girls lying about her bad eyesight by learning all the letters on eye chart.

But these heroic women were often rejected after the war. Why? “Men want to look at gentle, fresh and happy girls. They want beauty in their lives. Not soldiers who wore dirty men’s clothes, had short hair and did men’s work for years.” Other women sometimes didn’t allow them to public female’s bathrooms. Called them whores, broken. Because they weren’t real women in their eyes. These soldiers hated getting their menstruation, but they hated not getting it anymore even more. They were surprised they could have children after war.

I’m pretty confident everyone should read this book. (The uncensored version, of course.) Maybe not whole, it’s pretty long, but definitely some stories from it. Kind of makes me wanna die and just lay down crying, but it’s worth it.
5/5 no regrets



How I became a vegetarian and how my mental health made me stop


Hey. Let me tell you a story of why and how I become a vegetarian and why I had to stop because of my mental health problems.

Since I was a little kid I was never really big fan of a meat. My parents had to force me to eat it and I still eat only chicken meat. I am very grateful they did this as i got usual portion of nutrients a kid needs. I’m strongly against vegetarian or vegans parents pushing their believes on their children. Of course you can argue that it is the same what all of the other non-vegetarian parens do – pushing their meat-eating habits onto their children – but c’mon. As a parent you shouldn’t deprive your kid of anything there is that food industry offers. Is everyone’s own business but let them choose when they are old enough to understand the decision they’re  making.

As I was growing up I was more and more aware of the meat taste and how I don’t like how it makes me feel. I always described is as a “I’m not in a  mood for meat”. There was a day I would eat chicken without a blink and then there was a day when i would stare at the piece of chicken and dissect it in small particles until i would find some vein, blood or tendon and i would refuse to eat it altogether. Pork, beef or any other type of meat was never an option for me – not unless i was aware of it. Sometimes my parents would tell me that the meat is chicken so i would at least give it a shot. Tricky but this tactic would not end successfully most of the times.

My parents would always get upset with how picky I am but after some time they got used to it and didn’t try to fight it anymore.

In my 15 I started highschool far away from home and I lived in girls dormitory. There was no vegetarian food option in the dorms canteen – well to be fair there was no option at all we got one food and you eat it or you’re hungry. It was easy for me to ask them not to serve meat to my plate and instead they would aways give me more potatoes,rice or vegetable instead.

What was the biggest struggle for me was the reactions I received. It was aways always the same. If someone noticed I don’t eat meat they would ask “are you a vegetarian?” in such obnoxious way I immediately felt small and felt the need to defend myself like I was doing something wrong. I would answer “no i just don’t like meat” in small voice. Response would be well-known phases I’m sure all of you who practise some sort of diet such as ” i can’t imagine that” “wow i can’t imagine my life without meat” “really? not even a chicken?” and many other bullshits. After such pleasant conversation I aways ended up questioning myself as why i can’t force myself to eat that piece of meat and what the hell was wrong with me.

I didn’t like talking about my meal habits at all as I aways came across the same negative reaction. Vegetarian was like a dirty word, something I shouldn’t want to be associated with.

Until my breaking point. Again I was always leaning to vegetarianism but I was never really pushed by the line to actually call myself that until one day.

I always helped out in kitchen. One day I was making chicken soup and as I was holding the small body, chicken ribs in the palm of my hand and all I could think of was how it feels exactly the same when I’m hold my dog in my hands. I have Maltese dog – very small and cutest ever and size of his ribs are the same as the ribs of the dead chicken i was about to boil in hot wather and eat. I suddenly become very nauseous and i knew i won’t eat the soup. I couldn’t even taste it for seasoning. I was sick even thinking about it. From that moment i just couldn’t put any piece of meat in my mouth.

I accepted the fact that I don’t like the meat and I shouldn’t feel bad about my preferences. I was finally 100% confident in calling myself vegetarian and answering the silly questions with higher confidence than ever. I didn’t like the taste, I didn’t like the preparation of death animal parts in my hands – so what?

I made this decision of skipping meat completely at my 17- almost 18 years. It got much easier when I moved to Czech republic and start living at new university dormitory. Part of our dorm is canteen and they always offer 6+ meals to choose from and aways 1-2 meals are vegetarian. I suddenly didn’t feel like such outsider anymore. I got to meet many other people who were vegetarians or vegans and it made me feel more ” normal” than when I was at highschool. People at uni didn’t find it as strange and were more understanding.

I practised my vegetarianism for 3-4 years until I was 21 . My crucial moment was one horrible night that changed everything for me.

I’ll try to explain what went on with me and my health problems as shortest a possible but there are still few thing I just need to say and are important to my story as a vegetarian. I want you to understand why I chose to eat meat once again and that vegetarianism is not for me anymore. There is also very personal subject of my mental health described in next paragraphs.

Contains many trigger warnings and it’s probably the most personal segment I ever wrote.


I woke up one night feeling strong chest pain, I couldn’t breathe, I was all alone in my room and I was petrified with fear I’ll die at that moment. It was seriously the worst night of my life and i kept reliving it every day after that. Few minutes passed by and i was finally able to breathe but the chest pain didn’t go away. Actually it didn’t go away for next 6 months. I was in pain ever since, my chest hurt with every breathe i took, i couldn’t lie down, i couldn’t sleep as this pain attacks kept repeating every night. I was strongly sleep deprived as i spend most of my nights wild awake focusing on my breathing. I kept trying to fall sleep sitting straight as i couldn’t lie down because the pain would increase. I visited several emergencies, doctors, i took many strong painkillers, took lot of medical tests but all of the results were the same – I’m healthy. There was nothing wrong with me except i was not ok. I stopped eating, communicating, i couldn’t visit school anymore as i was hyperventilating most of the time of day and couldn’t breath at all during the night, i kept crying like literally all the time as a way to release at least of the pain and frustration from situation i was stuck in, i keep fainting randomly and no one knew how to help me. Worst part was that almost no one from my close friends or family believed my problems. I felt so guilty for asking for help so many times. I felt like I’m bothering everyone with my crying but i just couldn’t stop it. I tried not to talk about any of it – no one believed me anyway. I was all alone and I was loosing my mind. I was going crazy.

I took 2 rehabilitation as they assumed my problem was called Tietze syndrome – meaning basically that my ribs was damaged and were causing me pain when breathing or moving. I took messages, radio therapy, laser therapy, electro therapy but none of this helped so I tried many other alternative forms of treatment. I visited several therapists, I tried healing through chakras, meditation, swimming, yoga, creams and herbs, sleeping  tea, hugging trees – unfortunately with no positive result. With every failed treatment I felt even worse and friends and family gave up on me completely. I swear to god every “get over it” “its all in your head” “don’t think about it” “you just have to fight it” “some people have it worse than you” crap shorten my life in half.

I was very weak –  this went on from end of january till august when I finally got help I so desperately needed. 7 months without proper sleep, food, on painkillers and in constant misery. This was the worst time of my life and  it was the time i decided to eat meat again. I was very weak – most movement i was able to do was move to bathroom and even this made me so tired i needed to lie down.

I was at home one day as I was having my first rehabilitation at my hometown and my dad brought home this very good smelling sausage. This was my first meat I ate after 4 years. From then I tried to slowly add meat into my daily meals. I wasn’t eating much but i tried my best to get as many nutrients i could take. I was expecting to have digestion problems from such sudden meat consumption but nothing happened. I wasn’t cured thought. I was still in pain but i felt stronger, i could walk 2 steps without feeling like fainting again.

After several more breakdowns I finally decided to visit specialist I needed – psychiatrist. To sum it all up – all this time I was suffering from panic disorder and severe depression but not one of the hundred doctors i visited could figure that out. I started taking antidepressants and i never felt better. So don’t worry I’m ok now but it blows my mind away how simple it was to get better once you overcome the mental illness stigma.

I refused to go to psychiatrist, I was convinced I don’t need that kind of help, I’m not crazy and I could never bring such shame on my family. Even though family member committed suicide before but mental health is not something you talk about at family dinner. Or at all.

I remember this day when I almost visited psychiatrist after few very bad nights. I was standing in front of psychiatrist door when this woman came by and she was talking to herself, looking straight down and shivering her hands. I turned around immediately and went home. I’m not that bad as this woman and we simply can’t be needing the same help. I was “strong” and “I’ll deal with it myself”. I was full of crap. If only i could go in that door back then i would be getting better like 2 months earlier. 2 more months of being normal and healthy human being.

Thank god I visited my psychiatrist. If you’ll think less of me now – well you should seriously rethink your life values. I hit rock bottom, felt guilt, shame and you have no idea how proud I am of myself for not killing myself even though it seamed as the only solution of how to ease the pain most of the nights. Unless you were at the same hell you have no right to judge me and if you were then I am so sorry this happened to you.

I’m still eating meat. Even thought there is still part of me that hates the fact that I’m eating animals, and all their muscles and veins. But – there is much bigger part of me that wants to be healthy and never ever go back to the nightmare I lived. If my body requires meat I’m gonna give it to it. I understand there might be strong vegetarian/vegans reading this article who would disagree with me and consider me traitor to  whole vegetarian/vegan believe, but unless you go to sleep fearing you won’t wake up, your daily accomplishment is that you took shower, ate food and simply stayed alive you just don’t know what it’s like. If you do understand what I’m talking about then again i’m so sorry.

It’s still very hard for me to talk about it but I find it easier to type it down than to actually speak up about it but it’s so so so important to talk about mental health and to destroy mental health stigma. I would love to hear your story of how you fought depression and other mental illness.

Let’s talk about it

I put myself first now with everything I have, with everything it takes.

If you don’t eat meat – good for you. If you do eat meat – good for you. Do whatever suits you. Don’t take anyones crap. In the end you’re all you got.

Take care of yourself

Thank you so much for your attention

xo Natalia


Scallop dress


Hey. In my last parcel from romwe I received this cute Scallop Trim Fit & Flare Dress. I really liked the color and design at official product page you can find at link above. I checked the measurements they offered at their page and I chose size L. It’s my usual size and this dress fits me well. Material is quite elastic and it abuts my upper body but the bottom part is much more loose. It’s very nicely cut and makes my chest pop up.

Sleeves are three-quarters length and ends in scallop just as the bottom of the skirt. This effect creates very nice and soft look and makes the whole dress very unique.

Unfortunately I need to say that the dress are much different color than the official product photo shows. It’s much darker but still pretty thought. Just look:

Material feels very good on skin and looks very good in real. It’s thin and easy.

The price was also very good and reasonable for such quality – just 15$ after sale.

I ordered this dress from romwe and shipments was without any complications and it took around 2 weeks to deliver to my home country Slovakia. This dress is from brand Shein even though I got it from romwe store. Both of this stores are ones I collaborate with on fashion blogger program and you can read about how exactly our collaboration works like at this articles here – Romwe and Shein


I took many other photos and you can check them out here:

I love them and I would highly recommend them.

My old discount code 20775-Natalia is no longer valid but I have new code you can all use now.

Don’t forget to use my discount code called natalia to get 5$ off any 69$+ orders from romwe.

Thank you for your attention


An anonymous supporter

My very first article written about me.


I received some support lately from people who would give a star to one or more of my articles or follow my blog.

While previously I was talking about people who had apparently nothing to do with me and I was not able to gauge from their blog what they were up to, this changed with the last article called Socks.

It was ‘liked’ by Renegade7x.

I’ve been at her blog and I was able to see straight away what she is was up to.

She is a fashion blogger and a traveler. She doesn’t mind talking about herself in her About section.

Although she does sell some t-shirts, her blog does not seem to be entirely commercial. (More on this later).

She is a student and not all of her blog posts are about fashion items.

In this article she reviews a book, and I also wrote…

View original post 447 more words

Girl power


Hey. I’m sure many of you saw this cute “Girl power” logo on different clothing. I myself decided to get in on simple white T-shirt. This shirt could be found on many different fashion websites I currently collaborate with like Shein, Poppyaparel or Romwe. Romwe here offers this shirt for cheapest price but unfortunately now it’s only available in black color. 

For comparison: 

And it’s all the same shirt trust me. I got one from shein and other one from romwe for give away I was hosting some time ago on my tumblr blog.

Shipment was simple and without any complications as usual ant it takes around 2-3 weeks to ship to my country – Slovakia.


All sites offers this official product photo with same description:

It’s one-size. My usual size is L but my sisters always borrow this shirt from me and one of them is M size and other is size S so it literally fits them all.

It’s very simple white shirt with print on it. Material is soft on skin. After several washings I noticed that bright red color of quote lost a bit from its original intensity. I’ve got it for over a year now.

Looks great. Feels great and allows me to share my believes without a word from my mouth. Love it and highly recommending it.

Here are other photos I took while wearing it:

Thank you for your attention and happy international women’s day

xo Natalia

Black alien sweatshirt


Hey. One of my favourite and most used item I ever got from romwe for our fashion review program is this Black alien print sweatshirt. I purchased it long time ago and unfortunately this item is now sold out, but you can find many similar sweatshirts on this page here. Don’t forget to use my dicount code  “ 20775-Natalia “ to get 60% off for any 59$+ orders from romwe.

This sweatshirt is very simple – just black sweatshirt with small white print of alien head on left side. Yet it looks so good. Here is how it looked like at official product photo and it looks just as same in reality:


I received my package  around 2 weeks since ordering and it was without any complications.


The price of this sweatshirt was around 20$ and I ordered size XL as I wanted it to be bit oversized and I highly recommend doing this. It looks much better when it’s slightly loose. I checked this measurements found on official product page:


It’s glorious. Very soft and comfortable mostly because I choose bigger size than my usual one. It’s made of high quality material. Even after several washings it stays the same and also the alien print is without any change. Still same bright color. I love that the sleeves are so long – even over my wrists and it creates very cute look. I took several photos wearing it. It’s one of my favourite items ever i wear it awfully a lot. 10/10

Thank you for your attention

xo Natalia