2019 is the worst and it’s been just 12 days

Hey. I’m having really shitty year so far so let me rant for a while. I had high hopes for this year but this bitch is really testing me. It’s been just 12 impossible days and I’m already done. Here is what had happened to me so far and there has been a lot so I’m gonna put it all in different categories.

My youngest sister and her guy

I have 2 younger sisters, 16 and 18 years old. There is a big age difference between me and my sisters and I was proper big sister/mum to them forever. That’s why I was so struck when I heard that my baby sister is having a “thing” with some american guy. Nothing wrong with that. They have been talking on the instagram and snapchat for sometime under month. Nothing wrong with that. He’s an adult and a soldier from Texas. Still nothing wrong with that but a little worried about grown ass man showing intrest in 16 years old. He’s traveling to Slovakia to visit my baby sister and spend a week with her. HOLD THE FUCK UP. That’s creepy as fuck – who travels 12 hours and pays 1000$ to visit a young girl he found online ??!

I’m so surprised with my sister as well  – first of all to actually talking to him. She’s not very good in english, she’s capable of writing as it’s easy to search for a word you’re not familiar with but she can’t speak for shit. She couldn’t tell me some basic info about the guy she invited for a week so obviously I told her that I’m against her meeting with him in such short time cuz it’s too dangerous. Surprise surprise the guy messaged me after that claiming he’s willing to answer all of my questions so I wouldn’t worry about my baby sister.

I’ve had my share of online creeps and that’s just natural when you work online. I don’t even accept all of those sleazy comments I get on here and my instagram message box is full of strangers making moves on me but I would never ever thought of replaying to such messages. It’s a waste of time for starter and I’m not gonna support that deviant behaviour. And that’s why it’s so absurd for me that my own sister not only talks so them but also wants to meet them. Yes sure he might not the that guy and I’m being over protective and gosh I wish I was wrong and he’s not some serial killer or rapist who feeds on naive little girls like my sister but I rather be wrong than sorry.

I’m sure you’re interested in what me and the guy talked about. I asked about his intentions with my sister, his family and other personal stuff and his answers were just perfect. Straight from the book. His family volunteers in africa, he’s good christian guy, virgin and he can’t have sex before, marriage, he wants to visit our lovely country and other bullshit I’ve heard thousand times before.

Am I in wrong ? That’s not normal right ? Am I being totally paranoid ? What would you do/think in my situation?

My other sister and her blaming

To this affair stepped up my other sister yelling at me to stop interfering in their lives. Said that I am messed up in my head and I have wrong opinions, that I’m not their mum and they don’t need me helping them. Also said that I need to stop thinking I had it bad cuz a lot of people are depressed and it was all my fault for not talking about my feelings in first place. That I’m playing victim. People have it worst than me. Told me I’m just hating on all men for not wanting our sister meeting with this guy from internet.

I didn’t handle that well to be honest. I’ve been doing so much better since I’ve been on antidepressants and to hear those words form my little sister was not good form me. It’s been months since I cried like that and I felt like a went back months in therapy. That hurt a lot.

It’s so strange that my own sister is everything that’s wrong in viewing mental illnesses and I can’t make her understand, I’m sure she will once she grow up but I just can’t have that ideas in my life anymore.

I know I’m not in wrong in this one and my depression wasn’t my fault and it’s never anyone’s fault, it’s an illness and its horrible of her to think that.

Broken laptop

In this misery of mine God decided that my laptop should stop working just in case I was feeling better. I can’t be that much surprised cuz it was just a rebound laptop – cheapest I could find and that’s why the repair was not an option cuz it would cost almost as much as the original price of laptop.

I’m writing this complaint on my brand new laptop that I just bought for money I’m in desperate need for because of unexpected events that happened next.

Biggest blow of 2019

Me and Domc my best friend since we were kids moved to Prague together to start our new jobs in september 2018. I always considered her as a sister. I informed you few times about how happy I am with my new place, new job, great friends and just everything that went well in my life. I should have known shit will go down somehow.

2 days ago as I was hanging out with Domc as usual she just turns to me out of the blue and says that we need to talk about our future. She told me she does not want to live with me anymore and I have 3 months to move away or she’ll move. Quite a shock I must say.

I still can’t believe this is for real. Of course I did not expect us to live together forever but I believe we would last at least a year and not only 5 months. I was so happy with my life and the fact that I finally had some sense of stability for the first time in my life – I knew that I didn’t have to worry about my living situation for at least a year but surprise surprise that was a lie.

So obviously I asked her why so suddenly, I was seriously not expecting that, and I found out that she planed this since october and been looking for a place to move with her boyfriend for some time now just never bothered to tell me. While she was working on her escape plan I kept decorating our apartment and I even ordered new wardrobe for my room and had to bring those fucking heavy packages to our place on my own and she then had the balls to tell me I won’t be needing that wardrobe cuz she’s kicking me out. Not that it’s her place at all, but we got it through her family so obviously she’s gonna be the one that stays and I’m the one that has to leave.

She also claims to feel guilty that I sleep on the couch. To explain – we have  – well we had – beautiful apartment with one separate room where I stayed at first and one big room that’s connected to kitchen where she slept. She was not happy back then either so we switched rooms and I thought things would be ok but nope. She complains that she can’t make midnight snack cuz I’m already sleeping at midnight, she claims this was just part-time solution for her and she thought that I was unhappy too, she found it weird that I kept planing how we would spend summer here but never bothered to say anything.

She also offered that I’ll stay in this place but there is no way I could afford to live here on my own, and I refuse to ever live with anyone anymore so basically she just made major life changing decision for me.

She wants to live with her boyfriend and not me. Fyi – her boyfriends is my ex-boyfriend and I honestly never felt weird about it cuz I didn’t have any feelings for him ever but turns out a guy destroys another one of my friendships.

I don’t believe in love, there are so many things I’d like to say about love but I believe that deserves separate article. My friends keep wondering why I’m so sceptical about relationships in general when I come from good family where my parents still acts ridiculously cute even after over 20 years of marriage.

Truth is that every guy that ever came in to my life took one friend from me. There is my high school roommate who fell in love with this douche who forbids her form being friends with anyone and she moved away without a word and we’ve been friends since kindergarten and I know bare shit about her now. Then there is my university roommate who fell in love with this smarty pants heads over heels and realised she doesn’t need a friend anymore cuz she have a boyfriend now so I lost another roommate and a friend.

And now I’m loosing another roommate for a guy. I believe you see my pattern here right? I just don’t know when will I finally learn and stop trusting wrong people when I should be trusting the only person who ever truly cared about me – my mum. That woman is incredible, she told me months ago that I shouldn’t live with Domc, that she will abandon me and I’ll be left alone with no place to live. I remember vividly swearing by Domc how she would never do that, that she’s not like her mother and she would never do that to me. Well that was a lie.

It’s 12 days into 2019 but I want to make few new resolutions.

  • I’m gonna listen to my mum –  that woman is always right and wants the best for me. Shame I have her stubbornness that makes me do things my own ways and do my own mistakes. I also have my fathers humanity – he can’t say no to people and always trust that people are genuinely good and that is a deadly combination.
  • I’m not gonna depend on no one but myself – I can’t live with anyone else anymore. To count on someone, revolve your life around their words and then being disappointed by their behaviour is something I will not go through again.
  • Always have several back up plans prepared – I used to live by this rule but since I moved with Domc I relaxed too much, everything is good I’m not gonna think about the worst scenario. My bad.

Honestly I don’t remember being so disappointed and angry ever. Now I’m doing what my parents recommended me to do – I’m not gonna do any life changing decisions while I’m this angry. I need a couple of days to think it over. Domc panned this for months but I’ve just found out I have no place to live 2 days ago. She claims that she’ll help me with everything from finding new place to moving but sorry I have hard time believing a word she says now.

Worst thing is that I keep thinking what did I do wrong, how is this my fault. Was I bad roommate ? Was I too demanding when I asked her to clean apartment once in a while or to learn how to use our washing machine? Is she blaming me for her long distance relationship? Truth is there is nothing I could do differently, she was planing this all along.

I made a new years resolution to take things as they are but that is much easier said than done because of how unfair it all feels. She’s the one that wants to move with someone else but I’m the one who has to change everything. No compromise.

I keep trying to see something positive in all of this. I’ll be living on my own and won’t have to deal with other people’s bullshit. I can decorate my place however I like. I can get a pet finally.

But the truth is that I am terrified and hopeless. I have no idea what future brings me and not in that nice positive way that it’s been since now “what exciting news will future bring me” more like “I’m gonna be homeless with no money and friends” kind of way and that sucks. This whole situation sucks and I never saw it coming.

I regret the time I wasted that’s never getting back. I could have made so many different things meanwhile I’ve been waiting for her to find the guts to tell the truth.

What more can I say.

Thank u, next.

.

 

Thank you so much for your attention

Sorry for bumping you out

xo Natalia

 

 

Advertisements

Posted by

Natalia 22 Slovak. Read about my passion for fashion, travel and personal experiences.

144 thoughts on “2019 is the worst and it’s been just 12 days

  1. You’ve had a lot of comments, but if no one has already said it, the American guy’s behavior would border on illegal in the U.S. He knows that. 18 is legal adulthood here concerning romantic relationships. If he continues to approach your sister, I would contact local police to see if he can be reported to U.S. authorities.

    Liked by 6 people

  2. This is intense. People in the comments have more ably advised and consoled, but all the same, I wholeheartedly wish you well and can only hope that all of our sincere desires for your benefit amount to something felt in you as a genuine comfort.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Hello! Natalia, I’ve read some of your concerns related to your little sister’s case. In my opinion, to begin with, she is a minor of only 16 years, which means that the intentions of that man can not be good. You are not paranoid, you are well in the interest of protecting your younger sister. I also know that this is a very difficult situation for you, because girls when they fall in love, are not able to listen to anyone’s advice. I wish you the best Natalia and hopefully you can get out of this complicated situation. By Derwell J Fallu

        Like

  3. Hope things get better for you. Your 2019 has surely been “interesting,” to say the least. Yeah…I can understand. My new year has not started out well, but what is that they say? Things could be a lot worse? Sure…LOL….but you never waste time if you’re learning things, even if you wished you’d never learned them in the beginning. Good luck…I have 5 younger sisters, and understand about issues of looking out for them. This American guy needs to get his head straight. Used to work in the prison system, and he could find himself in the slammer if his intentions are not honorable. Great narrative. Loved it….

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Obviously none of my business but NO Christian, virgin male in the military is going to spend a grand to visit a 16 year old girl in order to giggle and hold hands! In fact, my guess is there ARE no Christian virgins in the Military.

    Could be wrong. Could be the greatest guy in the world. By my very young sister would not be permitted within 100 miles of the guy.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. That guy « dating » your sister is definitely a creep… there’s no justification for it because if you’re a grown ass man going after a 16 yr old you’re a pedophile my dude. Like seriously, going to visit her?! That just sounds nasty. I think the fact that he messaged you makes it worse because why are you adamant bout it my dude? What you wanna do so bad with a 16 yr old? Also, your « friend » is or does it seem she ever was a real friend. I’m sorry my dude but you really should get some new friends

    Like

  6. I am sorry to hear you are going through such upheaval. You are right to be concerned for your younger sisters. Perhaps you can set them an example of stability and good judgment. Wishing you all the best, A. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh wow! That was a shitty start I hope things are better now. You were totally right about the strange guy thing I would’ve responded the same way. Good looking out for your family, don’t let it stress you to much. Your new chapter should focus on your happiness.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. I think it would be good to share your concerns about this Texan fellow with your local police. They should have some knowledge about human trafficking.and would likely advise you.
    Having sisters is great and your relationships with them will get much better in the next 10 years. Teenage women can say such hurtful things.
    I can appreciate your disappointment in people at present. This too shall pass and better days are coming. Life will look so different in a year from now. Hang in there and remember to love yourself too.
    Pat

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I hope your year improves fast! That American is up to no good. Tell your sister an American woman said so. I am also very sorry about your friend kicking you out. That really bites! But look at it this way. You are smart and talented and you will get your own space with a pet and this year will improve. How could it not?

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Wowsers… I sure hope the rest of your year goes much better. As much as family can yell at us to stop worrying about them and to mind our own business, we can’t help BUT worry and be concerned when we see something completely askew (like with you and your sister). She’ll come around, I’m sure. Your friend giving you 3 months notice out of the blue like that was not cool and you deserve better than that.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I think you are correct to worry about your little sister. I think you have good grounds to be concerned. My year has been pretty crappy so far too. If I can help you with a tarot reading, let me know.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. You are absolutely right to be concerned about your little sister. It is not normal behaviour on his part. I recommend you find out what unit he’s with and report the behaviour to his Commanding Officer.

    Like

  13. That man’s behaviour is classic grooming for sex trafficking. Baby girl is all aglow because some guy deigns to like her. Baby sister is likely stubborn like Mamma and Big Sister. So be cunning! Alert local police that you suspect this man is grooming your sister. Ask if the man checks out. Find a friend who has excellent cyber skills to check put this guys profile. He’s a Christian? Ask what church he attends! Ring the pastor for a reference. Check. Check. Check. Smoke the guy out.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. I am sorry to hear 2019 has been very negative for you so far, I also am experiencing obstacles in the new year. I know writing is therapeutic and good us all, and when we use our writing to help others it will brighten our lives too.

    Thank You
    Jeff

    Liked by 1 person

  15. You are not alone with misfortune. Try to think positive thoughts, don’t dwell on what you can’t change, and always set your sites on the future! Wake up each day with gratefulness and take care of you first. Wishing you all good things ❤️ Thank You for reading my blog, it’s just a place to escape to when my mind is full😉
    -AunteeEmms Creative Adventures

    Liked by 1 person

  16. First, you are not wrong to be skeptical about the soldier (if he even is) and his intentions with your sis. Even if he’s a young man, he’s a still a grown ass man and should not be trying to seduce 16 year olds.

    Oh man, you have so much going on here and to boil it down to something positive: You’re going to get a Pet! That’s exciting! Just concentrate on that for a while! Hang in there.

    Like

  17. You are not being paranoid about your sister. And God’s not in the business of breaking laptops! It just happens. I’m much older than you and the twenties and thirties are the pits – but the forties and fifties are golden! Shine on.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.